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10 March 2010


Part 3

"the awareness presently appears divided as bits and pieces
to you, instead of being complete and undivided"

Individual awareness is always about something grosser and tangible. Its like being aware of the tree but not the wood in it. Being aware of the ocean but not the water in it. Being aware of the wife but not the woman in her. Such an awareness remains individual awareness and not total awareness.

Disciple : This total awareness is always a complicating one to understand?
Master : Yes because total awareness is not to be understood !
Disciple : If not understanding how else I know of it ?
Master : "Fire burns" can be understood and felt as well but
both are different from each other. Similarly understanding
and awareness are different kinds of phenomenon !
Disciple : But why cant I understand awareness ?
Master : Because awareness alone makes you understand
and that's why you can never understand awareness be it
individual or total !

The individual awareness is incomplete awareness because it lacks depth and is fleeting. Its more localized and is missing the pervasiveness. Though everyone is capable of individual and localized awareness, they seem to miss the pervasive total awareness. But of course even to be aware of the localized awareness is one best possible step forward to a undisputed total awareness.

Disciple : Does it mean that I can ignore my individual
awareness henceforth and focus on my total awareness ?
Master : You can not do that actually !
Disciple : I quite expected such a reply from you !
Master : Because whenever you ignore any single part
then what you focus cannot be total !
Disciple : Unless I give up the focus on localized awareness
how I can shift my focus to total awareness ?
Master : Neither you can shift nor you can focus
when it comes to total awareness !

Localized awareness is easier to focus as the awareness is definite and limited. But the total awareness is not fixed and is unlimited. You can only expand and include and never shift or focus. This happens only as a result of the habit mind has been infatuated with the idea of "focus" for a very long time.

Disciple : Without shifting can I be totally aware ?
Master : Exactly ! That's the only way it seems !
Disciple : I am asking to know if I am eligible for this
total awareness to happen to me within this lifetime ?
Master : Yes, from the moment you stop wasting your time on
such sentimental dialogs and start expanding from within !
Disciple : You don't seem to have compassion for me anymore?
Master : I would not be talking to you still if not for that !

05 March 2010

"awareness of self always happens to you
but not so completely"

Nobody is ever totally lacking awareness. Everyone is aware of something or the other of one's self. But the question is are you aware of your self fully? There are more than few reasons for you to misunderstand what exactly is self awareness and miss realizing your self fully.

Disciple : Does it mean I have some awareness already ?
Master : Certainly !
Disciple : I always thought I lack awareness !
Master : To know the lack of awareness is awareness too !

Self awareness is not about a Self which is independent of you. The word SELF mostly is objectified as a thing that is to be captured from within. Mostly it is visualized like some shining object, like some ping pong ball, with hues of violet and white rays, located somewhere close to the heart region or between the brows. This kind of weird imagery of the Self leads to complicating the process of awareness.

Disciple : So Self is not a shining ball of fire?
Master : Not at all ! Its not an isolated object !
Disciple : Does it have any color patterns to it?
Master : I said self is not an isolated object !
Disciple : What does it actually mean?
Master : Self includes your body, breath, mind
and the consciousness which holds them all together !

Most times you are aware of the comfort and discomforts of your body and mind. You know your physical weaknesses and strengths, feelings and emotions, abilities and debilities, right and wrong, good and bad. But the awareness of your self is still incomplete as you have not yet known the substratum of your body and mind parts.