More And More Of Less And Less

Off The Cuff Utterances


" Ego need not be nourished or
destroyed but just mastered "

ahamkar
EGO
Part - 18

The spiritual master is not necessarily a master of the masses, but he is called as the master only because he has mastered his own ahamkar(ego, the sense of I) . It does not automatically qualify him to be the master for everyone else. Infact, he may even choose to debunk his own experience of Truth and get on with the mundane life. It is absurd to think that when you get established in your self, then onwards you have to be on a mission to enlighten this whole world. In other words, whoever is seen busy 'enlightening' the spiritual seekers are not necessarily the fully awakened ones.

Disciple : Oh, I thought it is default to quit
the job, divorce from the family members,
travel around the world non stop and teach
everyone how to get enlightened !
Master : People are quite fine even without
this self awareness, It need not be imposed !
Disciple : But is it not a duty of the master
to awaken everyone ?
Master : Yes its a 'duty' only to wake up
those who seek to wake up !


Ahamkar which is not awakened yet, but is fully lost in the dualities of life need not be forced to see the Truth. The half baked 'world teacher' may cause more damage to the common man in feeding him immature spiritual ideas without his wanting, than anything spiritually significant. The individual should feel the need to find the Truth and when as a seeker of Truth approach the master with right attitude, then only there is any kind of teaching imparted.

Disciple : Can anyone approach a master
without the need to know the Truth ?
Master : In most cases, it is like that only. But
the master as a teacher should try
to indicate the purpose of the meeting time and time again !
Disciple : If they dont listen but persisted upon their ignorance ?
Master : They need to be relieved and given space for contemplation
and reflection of their own. However great, the big oak tree does
not allow the other plants to grow in its shadow !
Disciple : On the other hand, what if someone claims as a teacher
and behaves like a Master and impose his ' wisdom' on others?
Master : Think you are in a zoo and watch from distance !

Upon little familiarity with the spiritual insinuations, the seeker suddenly can behave like a teacher, who claims to have taken the special birth to teach the ignorant millions out of 'compassion' . That's just the ego trip. The disconnected ahamkar at play. However divine it may sound, just the change of clothes and name does not make someone awakened to the Self within.

The misguided spiritual seeker is far more destructive to himself than any destruction caused to him by the world and various experiences in it. When a seeker stopped learning and behaved as the awakened teacher, it leads to complications in knowing the Truth to one self and to the others. Truth takes a backseat and the wrong notions about spirituality and enlightenment can find promotion and significance.

Such a ahamkar which is steeped in ignorance, but is refusing to accept it, same time thinks it has arrived already at the land of the eternal divinity and has all the Gods wrapped around in the fingers is the most difficult ego, to attain the connectivity within.


" Bliss happen only to
a mind settled within "

ahamkar
EGO
Part -17

When you look at your face on the mirror, the sense of looking at ' your ' face comes from this ahamkar only. From the tip of the nail to the bristles of hair on your head, its all ' you '. Even the hair fallen from you is ' your ' hair. Similarly the bliss of your being is meant for your ahamkar only.

Disciple : Really ? I was of the opinion that only in the
absence of ahamkar the bliss can be achieved ?
Master : Neither absence of ahamkar nor the
achievement is possible !
Disciple : I understood that well, but I felt bliss
comes from emptiness within ?
Master : May be so. But someone has to
be there to experience it ?
Disciple : I got the point now !

Bliss is not some 'too much happiness' overwhelming a seeker, as it was supplied by the gods themselves, because of the nobility of a seeker. Bliss is always brewing within, but is experienced by the ahamkar only when it reunited within. The blissful 'personality' is seen outside by others but there nothing much they can do with it except draw inspirations. The ahamkar starts to experience the bliss due to its recent visit to the domain of the inner self.

Disciple : Does this bliss over flow from
within to others too ?
Master : Its not a tap water in your kitchen.
It does not flow anywhere !
Disciple : Is it not others also can come and
drink the bliss of this man of enlightenment ?
Master : If at all they drink something like bliss,
then its their own bliss, which got
triggered by this man of bliss !
Disciple : How can someone else
trigger bliss in me ?
Master : Pretty much the same as how
others trigger anger in you !

The man of awakening experiences bliss from within since he got connected to his own self well. In his presence or in his words probably there are certain hidden keys which trigger the bliss of a seeker. It need not always be the case with everyone around to find similar bliss being triggered. But the man of self awareness certainly is in tune with his own self, where bliss also is one of the happenings.

Disciple : How does bliss function ?
Master : There is no mechanism to it to function !
It is not even a device. But it is just a state of mind
where there is total absense of stress. The stress free
mind can experience certain 'peace of mind'
which is actually called as bliss !
Disciple : Does it help others too ?
Master : Need not be always as a condition but the person in bliss
certainly does not depend on anything, anymore for his happiness !
Disciple : Can he create harmony in this world,
bring peace to war torn countries ?
Master : Far from it, he is in harmony and peace with himself !

Bliss is not a tangible body part which can be transplanted. It can be somewhat contagious, that it can result in making someone trigger his own bliss. Certainly not contagious like some plague. The bliss is not usually handed over but traced within. It is just a byproduct as a result of the reunion of ahamkar(ego) and atman(Consciousness).

Disciple : How long does it take to
experience this bliss for a seeker ?
Master : Till the day when you actually stopped
fighting with yourself !
Disciple : Ok, How do I stop this fighting or self conflicting ?
Master : By settling down within yourself than
looking for places outside to settle !
Disciple : Does it mean I should not have a house
or a job of my own where I settle ?
Master : Not exactly. But knowing well
that the house you live cannot trigger bliss
all the time as you would want it to be !

Settling within needs to happen regardless of how well you have settled in your life externally. Infact there is never any 'settling down' possible in the gross world. Settling down within opens the fountain of bliss from within. Such a bliss cannot be borrowed, cannot be manufactured, not bought or sold, or even handed down or passed on.

" The union of ahamkar
and atman is called yoga "

ahamkar
EGO
Part - 16

Greatest merger or unifier happens not between you and something else, but between you and yourself. What the scriptures scream from top of their throats is just about this unifier. To get you full from being half.

Disciple : When two become one then it is called yoga?
Master : Very true !
Disciple : The union here is not of people but of one self with self ?
Master : Yes ! That alone is true union !
Disciple : What about union of people with each other !
Master : Such unions never last longer !
They are mostly convenience !
Disciple : True it appears that all relationships
between human beings are based on some convenience !
Master : Not just people. Even if you buy a car
and sit inside it and drive, it is some kind of union too !
Disciple : How is that ? Please Explain !
Master : Every ego is keen to have union somewhere.
If not people, they believe union with money, power,
places and objects can bring that fulfillment !
Disciple : I got it ! But whats the problem
in such a union with inert objects?
Master : Lots of problem there. Because you don't
know for sure how they would remain. Some day
they have to be condemned. Besides,
you have to protect them too !

The human ego is hungry and thirsty and is always on the look out to quench and satiate thirst and hunger. When there is money in the wallet, fat balance in the bank, brand new car in the garage, it seem happy. But also it suffers deeply inside about the impermanence of all such inert objects. Even as it somehow manage to pass through life by uniting with one or other object, some part of ego is aware, they are not going to be there forever.

Disciple : So the union with material objects not needed ?
Master : That's thinking of an extremist !
Disciple : Why so ?
Master : Because either he runs after material union
or simply run away from it. Both ways it is not going to help.
Whoever jumps from one end to the other extreme is an extremist !
Disciple : I understand that now. So what should I do ?
Master : Unite with the material objects or even
people but be clear that they don't fetch you that
most elusive fulfillment you seek in your life !

While the inert object and sentient human beings come and go in your life, you continue to associate and dissociate with them from time to time. Meanwhile it is important you as ahamkar(sense of I, ego, you) need to find out right things to unite. Something that can bring ever lasting sense of fulfillment.

Disciple : Is it possible to explore the inner self
while being busy dealing with world outside ?
Master : Yes indeed. In fact the world and all the
people in it are only to help you in that process.
They make you understand this world has
nothing to offer you permanently. This world is not a
source of distraction but only means to your own end !
Disciple : Then why the world appear to be a source of
disturbance while practicing spirituality for the earnest seeker ?
Master : That's because his earnestness alone is not enough, but
he should have known the uselessness of the world outside too.
Unless he has stopped believing that union outside with objects
and people bring happiness, he would find spirituality a big challenge !

Living in this world, having devalued everything of this world, not rejecting, not running away, but just hanging around and going about living a life but at the same time looking seriously within to locate the source of your own self, you would have managed both your material pursuit and spiritual fulfillment.


















" Centered in hidden self, ego has learnt
how to deal with this manifested world"


A H A M K A R
(ego) Part -15

The disconnected ego severed from its own source is like tree without a root and when there is a storm the tree would fly away. The unconnected ego knows that its not rooted. So it would try to find places and people where it can find the rooting.

Disciple : Oh, so the ego knows
that it is not rooted ?
Master : Very well !
Disciple : How is that ?
Master : In the form of fears, self doubt,
instability, disturbed mind, etc !
Disciple : People with such symptoms know
well the cause for it ?
Master : Need not be ! But still they try to
look around to anchor themselves !

The dependency on the world is increasing to an individual who has not self anchored. The dis connectivity within drives everyone to cling on to something outside, hoping to find strength and stability. The whole life becomes a search for this individual(ego, ahamkar, jiva) to find the rooting somewhere !

Disciple : What is the problem in rooting somewhere else ?
Master : It is as troublesome as trying to drive your car
with flat tyres hoping to fill up air in atmoshpere as you drive.
Disciple : Can that be possible ?
Master : Exactly ! That's my question too !


The foundation and its building need to be in the same place. They cannot be in two separate places. But having the foundation in one place and looking for a property to just build the house on top elsewhere can be such an unbelievable thing to do. But that's precisely what happens all the time with most individuals.

Disciple : Is there any possibility at all
to find such anchoring outside ?
Master : Possible. But they are all just
transitory ! Don't stand for long !
Disciple : Because no body wants to take
such a responsibility ?
Master : Nobody can take such a responsibility !
That's the problem !
Disciple : Then why people still try ?
Master : That's called ignorance. They someday
curse the world as evil and
call people as cheats and resign to find
comfort in some depression !
Disciple : That's pretty bad !
Master : Still worse, they decide to destroy
their individuality in the name of spirituality !
Disciple : But ego bashing is taught commonly
in all the spiritual circles !
Master : That's just adding up to the ignorance !
From ignorance to deep ignorance ! From darkness
they fall to deeper darkness !


When the anchoring did not happen within, the same world appears like a constant challenge. Running hither and tither looking for people who can appreciate, people who can praise, who can support, who can wipe tears, pat on the back and in those temporary moments of joy, deceive one self as having found the root.

" The ego does not dissolve but simply
completes its long process of seeking "

ahamkar
EGO
Part - 14

Awakening of the ego (you, ahamkar, jiva) to its hidden self ends all searching
and seeking and journeying in its life. It does not ask question ' whats to be done next ' any more. The idea of ' what next' belong only to seeking ego, which is busy doing or seeking something in life.

Disciple : So what exactly is the role of the awakened ego ?
Master : The awakened ego does not even bother to know what is the role !
Disciple : But there should be some purpose for it ?
Master : The purpose is usually dreamt by the sleeping ego !


Being in 'this' moment, the awakened ego does not raise usual questions like, what is the next step ? It is not thinking of the next step, because it is totally present with the present moment. When you are busy eating there is no question of what should follow after the eating.

Disciple : You mean there should not be any planning ?
Master : Plans happen on their own, you need not sit and
chalk out. You need not plan to plan !
Disciple : Why so ?
Master : When you plan then you plan only
with the limited informations you have !
Disciple : But is it not awakened ego knows what is in store ?
Master : Awakened ego knows only about what is here and now !
Disciple : The awakened ego is not all knowing ?
Master : The 'all' is indicating the all pervading consciousness
and not all human beings and all their state of affairs !

It is a myth that the awakened self keep a track of everyone at all times. Even prominent news agencies don't do that. They borrow news items from each other. There is a certain clarity about others which does not mean that the awakened ego is busy watching every movement of the billions of people around the world. Some kind of plan certainly happens to the awakened ego, but not necessarily in a manner where it would try to decide how the future should be.

Disciple : It is surprising to hear that
awakened ego does not plan ?
Master : Again, it does not plan the way
it used to. But there will be some planning
taking place, which somehow does not appear
concrete like before but very fluid ! It may even resort
to some planning but unlike before, it is not obsessed
with its own plans !


Planning goes on. The thinking happens too, as much as breathing. Eating and sleeping would continue too. Everything happens but awakened ego simply cannot shift to some other period of time. It would be sitting pretty on the present moment, because the inner self belong to present moment only.

Disciple : Why it does not shift
to any other period of time ?
Master : Because any other period
of time does not exist !

Disciple : But how come earlier
it was always wandering to past
and future ?
Master : Because it was searching. When searching
happens then, speculation and projection and
assumptions are ripe.

The ego earlier was not so much happy
with its present state of incompleteness. So it always kept wandering from one end to other. From past glories to future possible glories. But upon awakening it has found what it searched always and now it does not dismiss the present anymore and would not leave 'this' moment at any cost. It has found its home back. No more loitering aimlessly in the portals of time and space. It simply remains here in 'this' moment !

" merging with other half within can
happen in your living room while reading
the news paper and sipping hot coffee "

ahamkar
EGO
part - 13

Establishing your external self with its root within brings fulfillment, but before that, such an idea brings a doubt that everything external to you will run and hide from your sight just after that. It is a weird thinking that when the ego is awakened to the inner self, then when you open your eyes, you would find yourself in the jungles of Himalayas along with wild Bison and the Llamas.

DIsciple : Is it not Himalayas is the only place spirituality is possible ?
Master : Even skiing and para
gliding is possible in Himalayas !
Disciple : So you say awakening need not happen in Himalayas ?
Master : After traveling so far to Himalayas
you may even get tired and end up sleeping there !


Awakening of the ego to your own inner self restricted to a particular place is simply ignorance. It can happen even as you read new paper in your living room. In fact when it happens in most unlikely places, it can be more real and withstanding than awakening happened ten thousand feet above in mountains which might vanish as you come back to the mean sea level later.

Disciple : But I have always seen pictures of
great rishis (seers) in jungles and mountains
of olden days meditating along with deers
and butterflies !
Master : Because those days every place was still
like jungle. They were not producing toxins which
contaminated atmoshpere. They did not built structures
that scraped the skies. They did not have refrigerators
which spewed chloro fluoro carbon. They did not use
perfumes which punctured the ozone layer. Even their
own backyard appeared like Himalayas !
Disciple : What about butterflies?
Master : They did not use cellular phones which emitted
subtle magnetic radiation to drive those
butterflies to flutter away !

As the cities and towns grew wild with concrete and metal, seekers migrated to isolated places which were mostly mountains, where the human civilization of plastic and cosmetics did not reach as fast as the plains. A seeker atop the Himalayas or the Alps should have similar experience. A mountain is a mountain.

Disciple : Then why
the mountains are always
so special for spiritual growth ?
Master : The big mountains can remind you
(the ego, ahamkar) how small you are
in front of them. You come to know your
insignificance in front of them.
It somewhere urges you to close your eyes
and search for support from within.
Disciple : Does that not happen in a city ?
Master : Cities are built by human egos.
You will always find a hotel room to check
in and go to sleep safely as you watch the TV.
Disciple : So this experience does not happen
in the cities at all ?
Master : Looking at the traffic and
the reckless driving of people
it is quite possible in the cities too !
But out in the wilderness of the great mountains,
you have no choice but search within to
gather strength and support for your survival !
Disciple : So there is no God or some angels
in the mountains which will liberate the seeker ?
Master : Absolutely NOT !

" fulfillment does not come at the end of
life but now, by living this moment fully "

ahamkar
EGO
Part - 12

Ahamkar or ego is incomplete by nature. Because it appears to have severed its connection from its root known as Consciousness. This incompleteness drives the ego to search and seek things around and outside to attach and find completeness. Ego wants to study, fall in love, get married, have children and raise a little family and cultivate acquaintances, go to movies, restaurants, resorts and retreats just for this purpose.

Even after all the searching and attaining, ego still can feel unfulfilled. Some how the unfulfillment seem to remain despite money and people and fun all around. This incompleteness leads to half understanding of life by the ego. Living with half understanding and with sense of incompleteness, life turns out to be bed of nails.

Disciple : This state of incompleteness happens by birth itself ?
Master : In fact the birth itself has been caused by that only !
Disciple : So why does one take birth ?
Master : Certainly not just for college and marriage only
but to experience fullness of oneself during the living years !
Disciple : One can experience the fulfillment
even without college and marriage ?
Master : Quite easily ! But same time the
college and marriage does not stop one from
experiencing fulfillment at any stage, even
though they can distract a bit !

Taking human birth gives endless possibilities to the ego. Even animals and plants also are expressing as ego, but only human being has ego which is most productive and most destructive as well. It does everything to find the fulfillment whereas the animals do not hanker for fulfillment, because they do not have the evolved and sophisticated brain like humans.

Disciple : Animals do not crave for fulfillment ?
Master : Except eating and copulating, they do not
think of anything else as fulfillment !
Disciple : They don't get spiritual ?
Master : They don't even go for shopping,
leave alone getting spiritual !

Till fulfilment happens ego would try every circus possible in life and perhaps get tired or get spiritual at the end. But by then ahamkar or ego (you) may start to feel that its running out of time. The belief that the fulfillment comes at the end of life after having fulfilled every possible desire and completing all the responsibilities usually does not become a reality.

Disciple : What is fulfillment ?
Master : That which is half, when become
full, the fulfillment happens !
Disciple : What is that which is half ?
Master : The ego or ahamkar or your external self !
Disciple : How does it become full ?
Master : When it meets the other half !
Disciple : oh ! Where is the other half ?
Master : Right where you are !
Disciple : How do you I reach it ?
Master : By searching within !
Disciple : For everyone the same method ?
Master : Precisely !

Craving is a painful experience, but same time without craving for fulfillment one may never find fulfillment with awareness. Just direction of the search needs to be known well. Most human egos look out for fulfillment, which sometimes can appear to be fruitful, however can fizzle out soon. It is not always that the ego needs to roll up the sleeves and start the inner search only after a delayed understanding in life that the missing half is not found outside but right within.

" The realization happens to ego(you) only
when it learnt to be in the present moment"

A H A M K A R
(ego) Part - 11

There is only one way that you(ego) can become aware or realize your own inner self. That is to bring yourself in your entirety to 'this' moment. This is somewhat easier always to read than actually do. But at the same time it is probably the simplest thing anybody can ever think of.

Disciple : Is that all to be
done for spiritual enlightenment ?
Master : Rather this is the most vital step and
important thing to do from your side and the
rest may follow suit !
Disciple : Please explain how does being in the
present helps to realize the self ?
Master : Because the inner self always belonged
to the 'this' moment only. If you as the ego
have to connect to your inner self, then you
have to come to 'this' moment.


When ego is centered in 'this' moment that very moment it can be aware of the inner self. The realization happens that very moment. There is no way you can realize the self or get the awareness of the self, if you are scattered in the past moments or even the future moments. Just like you have particular time to meet particular people - you would not want to meet your hairdresser when you are having lunch and you would not want to have meals while in the saloon. Similarly there is a time for connecting to the self too and that time is 'here' and 'now' .

Disciple : Scattered means what ?
Master : Not being in 'this' moment but
stuck up somewhere in some past events !
Disciple : Is it only of the past ?
Master : Need not be. Future too !
Being scattered everywhere except
'here' is the nature of unconnected ego !


Mind wants to hold on to insignificant events that took place decades ago. When it is too busy mulling over dead moments, it has obviously lost the track of being here in 'this' moment. This happens when the ego(you) not connected or realized or be aware of the inner Self. It is apparent mind without control. Not rooted but swaying and drifting all over.

Disciple : Which one is first ? Whether first
bring the mind to the present and realize the
Self or realize the self and as a result mind
turns to 'this' present moment spontaneously ?
Master : Both happen simultaneously ! But you
should first try to be in 'this' moment. That
is the ideal start.
Disciple : I got it !

When ego(you, jivatma) is unconnected, then you are always scattered in all periods of time except in the present moment. It is a trouble some mind, well modified and oscillating mind. Its a unfit mind for self awareness. Because the self awareness can happen to a mind which has managed to gather itself to 'this' moment and dismiss all the past moments as dead ones and do not relive them here now.

The well connected ego lives a different lifestyle. It may appear a little ambiguous to the untrained mind. Little is the concern for past events, or even the future possibilities. It just lives in 'this' moment. The past is just a documented data and future has no relevance at all.

Disciple : The whole spirituality is just about this ?
Master : In a way yes !
Disciple : What about all the rituals
one practice rigorously ?
Master : All kinds of practices are meant
to bring you to 'this' moment only !
Disciple : Do they all know that there
practices are meant for this only ?
Master : Need not be ! They may be
expecting some miracles to happen !
Disciple : Even praising the lord
does not bring goodness?
Master : Goodness means ?
Disciple : It can be said as fortunes !
Master : The only fortune or the greatest
miracle that can happen to anyone is when
one can be totally aware of 'this' moment
unconditionally without the slightest
compromise! The rest all other goodness
imagined by you are just beautiful rubbish !

" unconnected ego is like the charcoal and
when connected to Consciousness it gets
transformed like the diamond "

ahamkar
EGO
Part - 10

Same carbon present in charcoal and diamond, but the quality of diamond always is exemplary, while the charcoal does not command much appreciation. A unusual phenomenon called allotropy makes the carbon exhibit veritable properties differently, even if they are just the same chemically. The ego or ahamkar is just an exhibit of the consciousness with certain unique arrangements of emotions and feelings. The same ego undergo transformation, when it get connected to the consciousness, where the arrangements of emotions and feelings give way to clarity and compassion.

Disciple : So essentially ego is the same before
and after its connectivity with consciousness?
Master : True ! Its like a car without gas when
unconnected and can zip past swiftly with gas
when connected ! The ahamkar functions
differently when connected or disconnected
from the consciousness !

Its the difference between having a bath in the tub or plunged into a swimming pool. The ahamkar does not die away or even get strengthened but remains the same. The connectivity makes it more equipped to face life comprehensively.

Disciple : Connectivity means awareness?
Do they both mean the same ?
Master : Yes, as a result of the connectivity here is
awareness of the inner self by the ahamkar or ego !
Disciple : Which is as good as I am connecting ?
Master : True. You become aware, realized, enlightened,
awakened, connected. However it is described, still the
meaning is one and the same !

The external self uniting or connecting with the inner self is the gripping climax of any spiritual pursuit. Upon connectivity you come to know that you did not now connect it but it has always been connected, only you become aware of the fact that you were always connected the Inner Self. This awareness breaks down the psychological wall built by the mind. The wall which apparently divided mind from the consciousness.

Disciple : So you say now that the inner self and
external self have always been connected ?
Master : Yes indeed ! But you come to know that
clear as a crystal when you became silent within
and realized the connectivity !
Disciple : Which one happens first ?
The connectivity or the awareness
of the connectivity ?
Master : Both happen simultaneously.
Like darkness and light appear and
disappear simultaneously !

The awareness happens as you are making an attempt to connect to the inner self. It would be meaningless to find out whether you become aware first or connectivity happened first. It does not really matter. But if you have a question which is kind of nagging your attention towards the subtlety of the inner connectivity then wrap up all those questions and dump them in the silence of your Inner Self during the meditation.














" you don't become clear with your consciousness in
your life, but because of consciousness you become
clear about life "


A H A M K A R A
(ego) Part - 9

Some people tend to mix up conscience and consciousness as one. But they are dramatically different from each other, though both glorified highly in their worlds. Conscience is considered utterly a noble quality while living in this world. You can hear people saying, if one is clear with his conscience then he is free. This freedom cannot be compared with the freedom one may find as a result of knowing the consciousness. The conscience belong to the worldly life and Consciousness usually belong to the spiritual life.

Conscience is that which makes you feel guilty and regretful in life. Many religions of nobility have considered regretfullness or feeling the guilt as a great way to get purified. But almost always the guilty can never feel pure about himself but only a pile of rotten trash.

Disciple : So what is conscience ?
Master : A psychological source which churn
out moral and ethical aspects of your life !
Disciple: That is not consciousness ?
Master : Not at all. They are as different as sand grains at

kalahari desert and the snowflakes over lake baikal in russia.
Disciple : Where is conscience located ?
Master : It is a kind of book of rules designed
and built by the mind based on what it learnt
as good and bad from childhood days!

Conscience is an expression of the unconnected ego. Consciousness is the source of the connected ego. Conscience is glorified but at the same time suspected too because some times it can be faulty. But Consciousness is neither right nor wrong. It is beyond both. The conscience helps you to understand the good over evil. But Consciousness gets you way far above all that this world calls as good and bad.

Disciple : Conscience belong to the ego ?
Master : Yes. Clearly so !
Disciple : So does all the conscience of all the people same ?
Master : Cant be. It can be unique !
Disciple : Give me some examples please ?
Master : An indian son's conscience would feel bad to
return home in a drunk condition, but an european son's
conscience may feel its ok as long as he drank within limits !
The typical Indian family conscience, does not allow the members
to sit together and drink but it is perfectly alright for a father
and son to share a bottle of wine in many other parts of the world !
The right and the wrong of such moral and ethical happenings
is decided and pronounced by the conscience.

Because the conscience is a vital factor in one's life, since it decides every action that is performed by you, it almost assumed an importance which is as real as the Consciousness. But conscience is playing only within the jurisdiction of the mind. Just a stop over facility before you descend upon the real consciousness within.

Disciple : Even the spellings are different ?
Master : Yes. But very similar and hence can confuse too !
Disciple : Whats the basic difference between them ?
Master : Conscience helps you to live a
moral life according to your own standards
meanwhile Consciousness help you
to be even alive ! Consciousness caused your
life and conscience leads your life.

"touching base at Consciousness
ego does not get destroyed but
simply gets transformed"

ahamkar
EGO
Part - 9

It appears as if the ego is destroyed, but really speaking it just undergoes transformation. As if just born, soon after it had connected itself to its inner self. It is in a way the end of the saga of ego. The ahamkar or ego realizes that it does not have an independent hold over life but only subordinates the much bigger consciousness.

Disciple : The awareness of the
inner self belong to whom ?
Master : It belongs to the ego or ahamkar, thats
the individual you or the external self !
Disciple : Awareness does not
happen still deeper inside ?
Master : No, awareness of the 'still deeper inside'

happens to ego which is you !

Awareness is both noun and verb too. The inner self has awareness as an attribute but by itself does not become aware of anything. Only your mind can become aware. It usually is aware of all the things that take place outside. You mind is aware of time and place and people's presence and their personal details, it can be aware of what clothes you wear and what food you eat and constant awareness about its surroundings makes the mind a highly sophisticated instrument. But when you (ego, ahamkar, the sense of I) become spiritual, then slowly you try to become aware of the inner self too.

Disciple : In the height of realization, i was told,
that there is only awareness and nothing else ?
Master : That is an immature understanding !
First of all, the realization happens to ego only as a
result of its awareness of the inner self. So the ego
will be present even at the height of realization.
Only that it may be undergoing some changes !

You are presently located in the mind. You are centered in your mind. Because you believe whatever happens to your mind happens to you. The mind is in other words known as ego. There is no separate ego independent of you or your mind. Its all the same.

Disciple : So mind is ego ?
Master : Mind contains ego too !
Disciple : What are the other things it contains ?
Master : It contains intellect and memory and the sense of I !
Disciple : All of them put together is ego or ahamkar ?
Master : you can say that !

When you function from mind you are simply an ego. When you take your emotions to be real and justify your emotional response to the world as real then you are just a plain ego who is bound to suffer or enjoy because of this world. But when your mind handover its authority to the inner self, then you have shifted your location from mind to the inner self (Atman, Consciousness, Godlikeness, etc ) then you are still an ego but a enlightened ego.

Disciple : Whats the difference between a
plain ego and a enlightened ego ?
Master : The plain ego wants the world to
behave according to its ideologies and the
enlightened ego adapts itself to the world
and does not push any ideology anywhere !
The enlightened ego goes about living its life
without any self doubt and the plain ego lives
with nothing but self doubt !

The mind always is in the danger of a doubtful living, because it always doubts the presence of some inner self. It is not sure about the inner self. Many times the ego does not have enough courage to look within. Then it somehow manage to live in the world with all the existing doubts inside.

Disciple : What are the changes likely to
happen to ego during the realization?
Master : The ego which had a quest to know
the truth come to an end. Because it has found it.
The ego also feel content and complete. This is not
a change but transformation ! Earlier it depended
on the world for its happiness and now it has found
its own happiness from within. Earlier it has many
unresolved issues and questions and now after
realization it seem to have resolved issues with
itself and seem to have no more questions, but
only answers. Whatever it was searching for seem
to have been found as a result of realization.
Disciple : Does this man of realization or the
'transformed ego' really solve all the the issues?
Master : Need not be. He may have solved issues
about himself but others may still continue with
their issues about him. But certainly the man of
realization does not have an issue about his own self.
He is clear about himself.

"Meditation is singularly meant for you(ego, ahamkar)
to rediscover your true source(Atman, Consciousness) "

ahamkar
EGO
Part - 8

The process of you reconnecting to your source is done while you set your self upon some exhaustive meditation sittings. Meditation where you cease all your worldly dealings for awhile and sit freely with your senses all shut in a natural manner. It takes a few sittings for your mind to actually turnaround within and identify the source.

Disciple : I have been wanting to ask how
this re connectivity is done !
Master : Yes, at the right time,
I am explaining myself !
Disciple : Always I seem to be in a hurry
to finish any practice !
Master : You cannot complete this process unless
you have understood clearly all that is
needed to know about ahamkar and consciousness !

The hurriedness of a seeker comes from the habit of trying to 'finish up' with eating, sleeping, washing, cooking, and reading, etc. You always think that everything must be finished. But when it comes to meditation you cant sit with the idea of finishing it.

True meditation has no beginning or end. It just happens and keeps happening. Even as you get up from the meditation seat, you should still make an attempt to remain in that meditative state. There is no finishing up with meditation. Because the mind which is busy with the idea of 'finishing up' things fast is a very restless mind.


Disciple : Strangely my mind always is disturbed
every time i tried to meditate. Why ?
Master : It happens to all those who get busy
with the ego bashing in the name of meditation !
Disciple : What is the problem in that ?
Master : The problem is that the ego alone is meditating and when it knows the meditation would lead to its own destruction, it start to protest and you think it is a kind of disturbance !
Disciple : So what should be done ?
Master : Be assured that the spirituality or
the meditation is not meant for any destructive
purpose but only meant for the reconnecting purpose !
Disciple : OK ! I got it, when the mind knows no danger
to its existence, then it would cooperate during the meditation.
Am I correct?
Master : How so precise !

People who consider spirituality is shedding(also killing, erasing, annihilating, emptying, destroying, dispelling etc) the ahamkar are those who are bound to behave like buffoons on the seat of meditation. People who cannot meditate are those who have their basics totally wrong about spirituality in general and meditation in particular.

Disciple : But i see some people who can sit always
with eyes closed totally oblivious of the world around ?
Master : They have got the basics too wrong !
Disciple : Is it not OK to be lost in meditation?
Master : Meditation is not meant to lose yourself
but to rediscover yourself !

Getting lost in meditation is a fantastic idea to many because they don't want their egos to be still alive. They want to lose their ego as soon as possible. They would appear always 'lost' even when their eyes are opened, as they deal with people around. When the theory is learnt wrong then be assured the practical personal experience of the meditation also can go haywire.

Disciple : So what should be the ideal attitude
for meditation with reference to ego?
Master : Firstly you should know that you are
the ego and it is ego that is meditating !
Disciple : OK, meditation is not done for the sake
of ego but ego is meditating ?
Master : Good. That's the right understanding !
Disciple : Whats the next step ?
Master : You as ego sit quietly and find out if
there is anything present deeper inside you !
Disciple : Why it should be done ?
Master : Because the ahamkar or the ego is now tired
of running your life and it wants to know if there is someone else
deeper inside who can handle your life better than you as ego !

"every ego is an avatar(incarnation) of the same god"


ahamkar
EGO
Part - 7


The avatar(incarnation) is not some special chosen individual but everyone is simply an avatar only. Because all human beings spring from the same source called God(Atman, consciousness). But some seem to be more godlike than the rest is only because the some have realized that their ahamkar(sense of I, ego) is just a manifestation of the divine. They have stopped fighting with their egos and realized that the ego is just an extension of the Atman(Consciousness, God) .


Disciple : Its heartening to hear that even I'm an avatar !
Master : I did not say that to make you feel happy however !
Disciple : True. Because I cant believe that I am an avatar !
Master : If you believe someone else can be an avatar than
you better believe yourself to be one too !
Disciple : But there seem to be some difference ?
Master : Yes ! You don't know you are an avatar unlike a realized individual !

The avatar is not some special creature born in a special manner and does all special things in life. It is only the realization of the ego which makes is apparently 'special' . It comes to be aware that it does not have an independent existence but is only an extended consciousness. When you as the ego realized your true self(Atman, Consciousness) then you become an avatar without wasting a moment. That in any case does not qualify you to be someone special.

Disciple : So what exactly is this avatar thing ?
Master : Avatar means the expression
of Truth in the human form !
Disciple : OK. Every one is an expression of the same Truth ?
Master : Exactly. So everyone actually is
an avatar. Some realize it, many don't, while
some claim to be avatars and force themselves
to do all 'miracles' in the name of avatar hood !
Disciple : So there is no need for the avatar to do any miracles?
Master : The fact that he could realize the
truth is the biggest miracle ever possible !

It is a indeed a sad plight for a seeker when he expects himself to perform miracles, once he had realized the truth. He thinks he has to become magical in his thinking and doing, just because he has realized the truth. He also goes to meet a spiritually realized being, to see if he could perform any miracles (seldom to learn the ways to know the truth).

Disciple : So there are no miracles in this life ?
Master : Plenty. But the definition may
vary from individual to another !
Disciple : What are the miracles according to you possible ?
Master : The fact that you are breathing, seeing,
smelling, eating, sleeping, etc are the miracles themselves.
If you also come to know and get connected to your inner self
then the ultimate miracle has happened in your life !
Disciple : No body can perform miracles ?
Master : Yes. Only miracles happen, nobody can perform it !
Disciple : If someone claims to be performing
miracles, what it should be called as ?
Master : Just plain magic with certain psychic powers !

Upon self realization or self awareness, one begin to see life as a big miracle that happened. Morning sunrise, drifting clouds, swaying branches of trees, fragrant flowers, smiling faces, playful children, summer rain, empty roads, a silent crowd, even a good food and music can be called as miracle.

Disciple : These are very ordinary daily happenings ?
Master : Yes, and when they don't make any sense to you,
it is a clear sign you are lost in the mind and have not
become aware of the true self within !
Disciple : So even these ordinary daily happenings appear
in a different light to someone who has become aware of the
inner self and that's what miracles all about ?
Master : Well said, my dear !

When ahamkar(ego) is ignorant about the Atman, it would be a meaningless life of doldrums, somehow dragged about and pushed around. Upon the self awareness, there is a sudden awakening to the life outside. The whole creation comes alive in all its hue and color. Nothing much happens to your hair or your health or even your family and the house. But simply your(the realized ego) ways of looking and understanding life undergoes tremendous change. Upon realization you know the greatest miracle happened in you that you could see this life around as it is without incomplete mind in between distorting it.

"To be pure consciousness is as
incomplete as to be plain ego"

ahamkar

EGO
Part - 6


The whole world, it appears, lives in blissful ignorance about the constant factor called Consciousness. Mankind is busy building or destroying its ego. The rest of creation like the insentient mountains and rivers are also totally deprived of any awareness. Finally, it is rare few wise men who knew that there is nothing to build or destroy but just put those loose ends together and simply get connected.


Disciple : Both ways it is incomplete?
Master : True. Without the slightest doubt !
Disciple : What about people renouncing world and planning
to drown themselves forever in the bliss of consciousness ?
Master : Indeed, they are a drowned people !

It is a wonder why man ever got into building up himself as ego and got himself stationed there and one day decide to toss it up in the air and move in the opposite direction. As long as he lived and performed in the world, he has no clue about his own source called consciousness and when he wanted to know about consciousness, he chose to discard the ego. Ironical but so true.

Disciple : I understand this imbalance very well !
Master : I am happy you said that !
Disciple : How does one strike the balance now ?
Master : When you stopped pampering
or tampering with yourself as ego
and have yourself(ego) well connected to your
source (Atman, Consciousness) is the only
way to strike a balance.

A balanced self is to be present in both entities(Ahamkar and Atman). The sense of fulfillment happens only when you are balanced in both. The famous mahavakya (declaration) '
Aham Brahma Asmi' (I Am Brahman) is one such evidence where I (ego) the Brahman(consciousness) are proved to be same. Nothing to add and nothing to remove.

Aham = (I, ego )
Brahmasmi = (Am Consciousness)

Disciple : But i have always been told that
I'm not my body, not my mind ?
Master : Either they did not say it properly or
you did not understand it properly!
Disciple : Whats the right way of saying it ?
Master : It should be, "I'm not my
body only" (but this consciousness also)
"I am not my mind only" (but my consciousness also).
Disciple : OK it makes sense now !
Master : This is much simpler and more proper understanding !


The purported differences created within one's personality such as body and mind as not mine can cause severe damage to one's lifestyle and thinking. You may begin to feel choked to live inside your own body and mind when it is not yours in your understanding. You even start to imagine that bondage is nothing but being arrested inside your body and when you released from the body only you can attain freedom. Such obnoxious thoughts have driven many seekers insane with their own body and mind.

Disciple : What are the problems in thinking
that I'm not the body and mind ?
Master : You will start to consider your own body
and mind as enemies or unwanted piles of trash. You
would not keep the body clean or healthy. You may want
reject all your thoughts as not yours and start to do opposite things
which can create tremendous conflicts inside. At the end of it all you
may even develop a great self disrespect and self disbelief !


Many seekers around the world imagine the soul to be stuck up inside the body and mind and when the soul escape through some holes of the body, then only it is free. Till then life is only a ' jail house rocking ' for all the seekers bound in body. The utter disrespect for body and mind is commonly seen among many seekers who take pride in torturing their own bodies as a mark of spiritual progress.

Disciple : It is scary even to hear all this !
Master : True, its insane spirituality !
Disciple : Now what should be my attitude about myself ?
Master : Consider yourself fine as you are and only
thing you have to do is to simply connect your
outer self (body, mind, intellect) to
your inner self(Consciousness, Atman) !
Disciple : How this connectivity is done ?
Master : That's what meditation is all about !

"to identify ego and recognize its existence
is the first major step in spirituality"


ahamkar

EGO
Part - 5


Some claim the ego to be non-existent. It is like some darkness which does not have existence. So no need to fight it out. While it saves your breath of the unwanted warfare waged, it also makes the seeker ignore the fact that without darkness, there is no light possible.


Disciple : But the idea of ego as
darkness sounds fantastic!
Master : Yes, very fanciful. Appears to have
solved all the tough times ahead !
Disciple : Whats the problem in such a thinking?
Master : Nothing much except you have to
live with a big lie all your life !
Disciple : A lie ? How is that ?
Master : When you deny the existence of ego
then you may have to dismiss yourself as
non existent every time you see your
face on the mirror and should be
able stop looking and admiring
it on the mirror.
disciple : What happens to me if I
consider the ego as non-existent?
Master : Then you are likely to create more
confusion in this world than the traffic
system on the roads of India.

It is not in the absence of ego you attain fulfillment but only in its total connectivity with its source called as consciousness (Atman, Godlikeness)any possible fulfillment happens.

Disciple : You often mention about fulfillment.
Is it the same as awakening ?
Master : Yes. Ego is half filled. When connected
to consciousness it becomes fully filled.
Disciple : So fulfilment is not possible without ego/
Master : Precisely. Only consciousness alone cannot be full !
Disciple : How come ? I thought to be an ego is
half filled and when the ego is renounced and
realizing the consciousness is fulfillment ?
Master : That's the appalling understanding of
anything even remotely called as spiritual!
Disciple : Oh, where am I going wrong ?
Master : You are incorrect when you say that
Consciousness is full and ego is half full, in fact
when consciousness connect to the ego
then only it becomes full.
Disciple :Please give me an example !
Master : The root is like consciousness.
The tree is like ego. Root alone is
incomplete and tree alone is incomplete.
But root and tree together is complete !
Disciple : I got it !
Master : Hopefully, yes !

The Atman or the consciousness is the essence and the ego is its expression. They work hand in glove. They support each other actually. while consciousness does not withdraw the support, the ego somewhere forgets that it is only an expression and still worse, it starts to believes itself to be independent of the Consciousness. That severed ties with the consciousness causes untold pain and sorrow to the ego. That's when it start its much hyped soul searching process.

Disciple : Now it makes sense. Spirituality is to
re-establish the lost contact with Consciousness?
Master : Though you speak of it like meeting some
old friend, it almost amounts to the same!

In this process, if ego is told that there is no existence of ego, then it can cause serious problems to the seeking of the ego. It would lead to the stupid imaginations of ego to be consciousness itself. It would abandon any further seeking which rules out the possibilities of reunion between ahamkar (ego, jiva, individual self, expression of the consciousness) and Atman.

Disciple : Why should the ego connect to this consciousness ?
Master : Why should you go back home at the end of the day ?
Disciple : Sometimes I don't feel like going home at all !
Master : But you may want to consider some other place as home.
As long you need a home like place to eat and sleep,
then the need for the ego also is to come home
and find the restfulness.
Disciple : What about you ? you don't seem to have a home,
but still you appear fulfilled ?
Master : I may not have a home but I feel homely wherever I am.
But the need for a home is common to every thing in creation.
Even a ascetic will make a home out of some cave in the
mountains and try to feel restful there. The monks
consider the monastery as home. Even gods
appear to have a hometown and a temple

or a church to live with
strict working hours !

This homecoming for the ego is called as self awareness. It need not even come back to home. But just it needs to realize that it has a home and abiding in it makes its life complete and fulfilled.

"a ego without self conflict
can become aware of Truth"


ahamkar
EGO
Part - 4


Though it gives some satisfaction , when you get busy with the annihilation of ego, you only help it grow a little more. Every time you resort to fight it out, you would end up as a loser. Because its a meaningless fight with an improper cause. It is like your hand wants to grab that piece of cake and you want to cut your hand before it grabs.

Disciple : I did not quite understand that !
Master : The ego wants enlightenment but it
also wants the ego to step aside from the path.
Disciple : How does that happen?
Master : It happened because the ego (you)
did not understand about itself (you) !
Disciple : So whats the flaw in the thinking here?
Master : You think you are independent of ego
and Consciousness, which is a flaw.
Disciple : Yes I got it !

To consider yourself to be independent of ego is a grave mistake. That's where the unwanted self conflicts begin. Your ignorance about the fact, that you are the ego can cost you a life time of futile efforts in the name of spiritual practices.

Disciple : So the spiritual practices are not done to erase ego ?
Master : Not really, they are done only to fine tune the ego !
Disciple : Why it should be fine tuned ?
Master : When fine tuned, the ego can become aware of the self !
Disciple : As it is, the ego is not aware of anything ?
Master : In fact the ego (you) is aware of
everything except the most vital inner self !

The ego is the only instrument which can identify the inner self and can also attune with it. But if ego is caught up in ego busting, then Inner self remains untouched and unexplored. The inner self remain unknown and can cause a lot of agony to a seeker who entered the path.

Disciple : What are the faculties I can include
within the definition of my ego?
Master : You as an ego is quite

a well spread personality.
1 All bodily actions
2 The breath oriented activities
3 Functions of mind as all the thoughts
4 The Intellect with its ability to

dissect and discriminate

These are some of the main features, which can be summed up as your Ego. It is not a particular thing which is on the surface of your personality but your very personality is actually the Ego.

Disciple : So the spiritual enlightenment makes
the ego stronger or weaker ?
Master : Neither ! It would only make the ego
more subtler to get tuned to the consciousness within !

"Ego is both good and bad it acts
according to need and convenience"


ahamkar
EGO
Part - 3


The ego is apparently a burden only because most of the times, it does not know how to respond to the demanding situations. Because of the immaturity and being ill equipped , it seem to get trampled every time there is someone or some situation pose a threat. The reason why the need to get rid of ego has gripped the fancy of the seekers around the world is only because, ' what cant be handled well, must be ridden off '.

Disciple : How does this ego form itself ?
Master : It does not form itself, it is a built in
feature that comes with all human beings !
Disciple : Even animals have ego ?
Master : No body can have or reject ego, but the body mind
complex is called ego. So animals are also ego only.
Disciple : But then what is the difference
between a animal ego and human ego ?
Master : Animal does not know that it is a ego,
whereas the man knows that he is a ego !

1 Anything that has a name is ego
2 Anything that has a form is ego
3 Anything that has a birth is ego
4 Anything that has a death is ego
5 Anything that functions in time is ego
6 Anything that functions in space is ego
7 Anything that divides good and bad is ego
8 Anything that wants to be spiritual is ego
9 Anything that can experience disease is ego
10 Anything that can suffer in pain is ego
11 Anything that can enjoy good things is ego
12 Anything that can that can become happy is ego
13 Anything that can cry in sorrow is ego
14 Anything that wants to get enlightened is ego
15 Anything that probably can get enlightened is ego

In other words, the ego is the central theme of your whole life. To rid of it is something like watching the 'Invisible Man' movie, where the main character is not seen but does everything a holly wood character should. If you shed ego then you may have to become invisible.

Disciple : So where exactly is this ego located ?
Master : It is rooted in the intellect and has a mind
as the software with breath as energy and a
physical body as hardware !
Disciple : Oh ! the ego function like a computer ?
Master : More or less !
Disciple : But whats the difference ?
Master : The computer does not know that it is
a computer and man knows that he is a man !
Disciple : Is that why they tell human birth is special ?
Master : I don't know if it is special but certainly has more
features than anything else ever created on earth !
Disciple : Whats is the one extra feature which other
creatures do not possess and is so unique
to the human being only ?
Master : Self - Awareness !

The ego alone can be aware of the self. If the ego is shelved or disposed, then there is NO CHANCE of any kind of awareness possible. The ego alone 'gets' enlightened. Minus ego there is none to get enlightened.

Disciple : I learnt from childhood that ego is like
some bad habit which must be kicked ?
Master : If it is to be kicked, then you
may end up receiving that kick !
Disciple : Is it not some tendency which should be dropped ?
Master : That way of thinking needs to be dropped first !
Disciple : Is it not some arrogant behaviour or
selfish motive which can be called as ego ?
Master : That's just minuscule expressions of your ego !
Disciple : What are the other expressions of my ego then ?
Master : Everything you express.. Anger, love, lust, greed,
honesty, sincerity, fidelity, jealousy, kindness, compassion etc.
Just about anything that comes from man is ego.
In short MAN is EGO !

" You can neither have ego nor do away
with ego, because you are the ego "

ahamkar
EGO
Part - 2

The clear sign of misguidance on the spiritual path can be spotted when someone is busy talking about shedding the ego or wiping it clean. They hardly know the fact that the one who is busy cleaning up the ego is actually the ego. Like you neither having a breath of your choice nor can shed it out of your choice.

Disciple : This sounds like some revelation to me !
Master : Need not be. Because it is just a plain truth !
Disciple : But all the seekers around the world seem
to be busy in doing away with the ego !
Master : Because they first made the mistake of branding the
ego as bad and the consciousness as good !
Disciple : OK. How did that happen?
Master : Some unqualified teachers of the past who were caught up
in the good and bad of this world, must have started this joke !
Disciple : How come people followed it ?
Master : Because it suited their divided minds !

Most people unfortunately consider spirituality as giving up the bad and replace it with good, even though they have never achieved such a thing. Because pick any 'good' man or a 'good' woman on the road at random and call him or her a fool, then you can see how bad they can get. Besides, what is good to someone can be terribly bad to someone else. The mind is always used to see this world with divisions. The good and bad, right and wrong, success and failure, gain and loss, etc. Such a divisive mind also saw spirituality as turning to good from bad, turning to merits from all sins etc.

Disciple : If it is not becoming good from bad,
then what is spirituality?
Master : It is to become untouched by good and bad !
Disciple : Such a person who untouched by
good and bad cannot do anything?
Master : why so ?
Disciple : Because, whatever he does
become either good or bad ?
Master : Yes, some people claim it as
good and some will claim it as bad !
Disciple : So what does this man of realization do ?
Master : He simply does whatever comes to him naturally !
Disciple : What if people claim, what he does as bad ?
Master : He does not care even
if they praise it as a noble thing !
Disciple : What does it mean ?
Master : It means he is untouched by
the complaints or complements !

The ego thrives on dualities. Its existence is sustained by the opposites. Without good and bad there is no existence for ego. At the same time, the inner self (Consciousness, Atman) is totally devoid of any opposites. It is ONE without a second. But when people try to understand the Consciousness with their limited minds then they brand God or Atman(Consciousness) as good and they also naturally end up branding ego as bad. Because for every good thing there has to be a equal bad thing present.

This is the concept in some religions where man is a automatic sinner by birth, whereas the Lord is a automatically meritorious always. This is how the silly and stupid mind divide everything as good and bad. It also divided the man and God as bad and good and interpreted spirituality as becoming good from bad.

Disciple : What is the problem in that ?
Master : Plenty ! The so called spiritual people think
they are automatically good and they also consider the so called
worldly people as automatically bad !
Disciple : True ! Sometimes even I consider myself
to have become good these days !
Master : which also means that you considered yourself
as not so good till these recent days !

"without ego there is never any
bondage nor any liberation "


ahamkar
EGO
Part - 1


That which does not go but here to stay. The strange interpretations of ego can tickle the funny bone. The grossest understanding of ego is arrogance or simply being selfish. But aham is anything which indicates 'i', including the 'i'.

As much an arrogant ego, there can be also the humble ego, sympathetic ego, lazy ego, ambitious ego, honest ego, sincere ego, etc. Especially including the one who claims ' I have no ego', which is just an ignorant ego. The worst(read as best)of all is the spiritual ego.

When you have a living body and functional mind, then you certainly have an ego. The problem starts only when you think you have to do away with your ego. Which is as good as doing away with the body and mind. Only dead bodies don't carry an ego or the sense of I. Because ego is the individual personality in you and you will be utterly a misfit to relate to this world without the personality or ego.

De
pending upon the tendencies, one may want to do away with the ego in a particular manner. Some use the language of erasing or eliminating, some destroying, some wiping, some cleaning, some sublimating, some shedding, some rising above and some, which is the most brutal of all, killing the ego.

Disciple : I want to kill my ego !
Master : What is ego ?
Disciple : the sense of I !
Master : Then who wants to kill your ego ?
Disciple : I think it is ' i ' who wants to kill !
Master : Its a crime to commit suicide,
so keep quiet and do your work.

To say, 'I have an ego' is wrong. But it should be 'I'm the ego'. Nobody can have an ego. Unlike you have a car, house and family. Ego is you. It is not independent of you. Everything in creation is ego. All the planets, sun, mountains, rivers, jungles, animals, plants, human beings, you and I, all are many different egos. Because they all can be defined and described and attributed. They all have a shape and name.

Anything born and can be dead in particular time is ego. Anything manifest as life is ego. Because all that manifest has certain personality, character and attribution. Like big, small, fat,slim, good and bad. Even the clothes have certain quality or the buildings have certain character. The automobiles have qualities. But interestingly, only the human being (human ego, you) can sense this ego and the rest cannot.

That's why you are special and that's perhaps why you are in trouble most of the times. The trouble you face in life stems from the fact that you have not accepted you as ego. You always wanting to get rid of this ego, especially in the times of crisis. Sad is the plight of people who renounce life in order to drown their sorrows along with their ego, because they believe, ego to be the cause of their sorrow and they want to dump it deep in an unknown place, like they dump the nuclear waste.

You will mute any possibility of spiritual progress, if you are at war with this ego. you should know that any spiritual progress or enlightenment is meant only for this ego. Besides ego, there is none who needs spiritual practice or awakening. It is the ego that wants to be spiritual and wants to attain enlightenment too. Your fight with the ego is like slapping yourself hoping to get some wisdom. Your avoiding or ignoring the ego is like you don't buy a ticket but still want to board the flight.

Disciple : I have decided to avoid using the term 'I'
Master : Why so ?
Disciple : Because it shows I have ego.
Master : Excellent ! But who is avoiding ?
Disciple : Of course, I only am avoiding 'I' !
Master : Instead of 'you' avoiding 'you', cant you accept ?
Disciple :What happens if I don't accept?
Master : You are slapping yourself, which is bondage !
Disciple : What if i accept?
Master : You are embracing yourself, which is freedom !

Even an enlightened being has an ego. It is simply an enlightened ego. Enlightenment does not take away the unique ego of that individual. He is still having his unique lifestyle and expression. If not, Krishna, Christ and Buddha should have behaved and lived similarly.

So what should happen exactly ? First of all, stop taking pride in ego bashing. That's the worst expression of ego. Second of all, understand that you as ego cannot survive alone and it needs the support system. Third of all, connect yourself as ego to the hidden self known as consciousness. Your meditation is meant for uniting you as ego with your inner self or consciousness.

Like the bulb is plugged into the socket. Bulb is the external self or ego, socket is the atman or Consciousness. Electricity is the divinity. The moment bulb is plugged in, electricity flows through the socket and Bingo ! the bulb burns bright.

When you plugged into your consciousness, the highest miracle happened to you. This is all what you need to do in your spiritual pursuit. The rest will follow suit. You will not even be bothered to know what follows. But for now, Shut Up, Sit Down and Plug In !

" When expand from where you are,
as you are, to your inner self, you will
complete the purpose of your living "

viveka
DISCRIMINATION
Part 16


You lived a life till today, from your birth, which was full of good and bad, success and failure, happiness and sorrow, experienced by your external self (body, mind, intellect). When this external self, as you are now get connected to the Inner self (Godliness, Consciousness, Atman), your life would come to a complete circle.

Disciple : I was always of the opinion that the
external Self must be emptied and my mind
should become empty in order to
experience the Inner Self.
Master : This is the most misunderstood idea
prevalent commonly and because of which
millions of seekers are stuck up half
way through in their spiritual journey!
Disciple : But is it not that emptying the good
and bad experiences and past memories
that I can reach to the Inner Self ?
Master : If you empty them all then there is
none to actually reach the Inner Self !
Disciple : Why is it like that ?
Master : Because you are only a bundle of all
these experiences rolled together as ego !

The external self (body+mind+intellect = ego) is nothing but the sum total of all your past experiences. Emptying them leads to imbalance. Your discrimination by the intellect should help you to understand this. Then the proper contemplations begin and that's when the connectivity between the external self (however badly shaped it is) will connect to the inner Self.

Disciple : Will everything remain the same even after connectivity ?
Master: Yes ! except that the way you look
at life and the way you express yourself in
this world would change !
Disciple : How does that help me?
Master : It may not help you much, except that it
would prevent you from suffering in the hands

of this tricky world !

Without a need to give up anything, without a need to destroy anything, without the renunciation, without erasing, without emptying, without annihilating, without a fight, without a warfare, without bloodshed, without removing, without sublimating, without exhausting, without perspiring, without struggling, without self torturing, this can happen in the most simplest manner. Upon the connectivity of the external self with the inner self, the only thing that is likely to happen is fulfillment and a sense of completeness.

The scriptures declare this union between the divided ones as Yoga. The reunion of the divided self is what Tantra deals with. The term
advaita or non-duality, one without the second are just about this only. The seeker(external self) finds what he sought(Inner self) and in that finding, he has arrived at his destination, his spiritual goal, his journey come to an natural end.

The end of this this 'long journey' to one's own inner self from one's own external self seem to take so many lives and so many scriptures and so many gurus and so many religions and so many paths and so many techniques and so many methodologies to accomplish.

The awareness of the union of the apparent division between the inner and outer self is the most celebrated moment in the life of a seeker. The world may declare that he has awakened and enlightened but to himself, he has just arrived home from a very long, tiresome and lost ways of a million years.

" In god's creation, there is nothing to
discard but everything to be included "

viveka
DISCRIMINATION
Part - 15

The inner self is without any modifications. Just a plain nothing like. The external self is full of modifications. Your intellect (the ego, the sense of I) is also part of the external modifications. The usual misconception is to consider the external self as unwanted dust and wiping it clean, with some quick fix solution in the name of spirituality seem to be appealing to an intellect which is not able to carry the burden of the discrimination in the world.

Disciple : But is it not the external has caused
the sorrow to myself in this life !
Master : May be so ! But when you say 'myself'
whom are you talking about ?
Disciple : Not sure but i think I am talking
about my external self !
Master : If that external self is wiped out in the
name of spirituality then who really enjoys the
stillness and silence of the inner self ?
Disciple : My external self only ! But I think
I found out what is the flaw in my thinking !

The seeking and finding and awakening are all an experience happening only to the external self in a unique manner. Your inner self need not look and search anything. In fact it is because of this wrong notion that the external self as a dust or unwanted garbage, needs to be dropped or wiped has caused the fear in your mind and intellect that they refuse to cooperate while you are in the process of connecting yourself to the inner self.

Disciple : So actually the external accumulations in
the form of past experiences need not be dropped?
Master : Need not be !
Disciple : But will that not be an hindrance
to my spiritual progress ?
Master : The fact you are spiritual itself is
because of the external self only !

It is the experiences you go through in life that makes you question life and probe in to Truth. If you wiped out the external self and all its past experiences, then there is no any need for any spirituality to you ! They are as important and real only to make your spirituality more meaningful. The sense of being bound and a sense of getting liberated are all belonging to only the external self(body,mind and intellect). The inner self (consciousness, atman, god) is not really bound or suffering or is in need of any spiritual enlightenment.

Disciple : Which means the accumulated experiences
from the past only helps me to be spiritual and also
helps me to grow spiritually and even helps me
to get the awareness of the self ?
Master : Precisely !
Disciple : I got it. But how exactly they help me to
find my inner self, what is the means to connect
my external self to the inner self ?
Master : Firstly it is the discrimination and
then by the contemplation !

" Enlightenment does not end your discrimination
of the world but will only enhance, in simpler
words, you will be more worldly wise than before"

viveka
DICRIMINATION
Part 14

Your spiritual enlightenment does not make you lose anything. You don't become empty. The emptiness idea is a killer. The emptying of mind and your self happens only because what you have now seem to be unworthy of having, so discard it, like disposing garbage at the end of the day.

Disciple : You mean I don't need to lose my ego ?
Master : And then what will you do ?
Disciple : I will sit in meditation and help people ?
Master : Then you need that ego. So better keep it safe !

The idea of emptying appeals to certain intellects only because those intellects discriminate the present situation in life as a great burden and relieving that burden appears to give some relief, like you empty your bowels in the morning and feel good about it.

Disciple : If not emptiness then what should I strive for ?
Master : Fulfillment !
Disciple : Whats the difference between them ?
Master : Emptiness can make you feel bankrupt
and fulfillment can make you feel the contentment !
Disciple : If the accumulations are bad and troublesome
and garbage like, is it not worth emptying them ?
Master : Need not be ! Because when you connected
to inner Self, even the garbage turns to be godliness !

The discrimination of intellect should be applied not to differentiate life as good and bad, but only as complete and incomplete. The discrimination of intellect wants to see life as good and bad only, because of its disconnectedness with the inner Self or consciousness(Atman, Godliness). But when it learnt to discriminate life as complete and incomplete then its a clear evidence of getting connected to the inner self (Atman, God).