" you have nothing to gain but
everything to lose in meditation"
Part - 9
The disturbances you find during meditation are not created just that moment freshly, but they have been hidden in you for many years, since your birth and probably even before. They erupt during meditation to your horror and embarrassment. But without being horrified or tweaked out, if you can still remain sitting, there is a possibility of flushing them out from your mind forever.
Disciple : Why the disturbing thoughts
come only during meditation ?
Master : They can be always coming.
But during meditation it is felt more obviously !
Disciple : Why the disturbances are not felt at other times ?
Master : Because you are busy creating them outside yourself !
Meditation can be a dreadful experience for anyone, who cannot see the disturbances erupting from inside and usually they would like to blame them as outside disturbances and stop their Meditation. Most of the times, the disturbance cannot be exactly identified. Only because you never wanted to look in to the eye of the problem, but simply avoid and wind up the disturbed meditation, run as fast as you can, back to your make belief world of comfort and security.
Disciple : Yes, because the Meditation is
not meant for bringing peace ?
Master : Because peace is not the goal of Meditation !
Disciple : But at least initial stages
some peace is required ?
Master : Yes, but that's where the trouble is !
Disciple : What exactly is the trouble in it ?
Master : When there is little peace found with the
help of some peace supplying technique, then
you don't want to proceed further !
Meditation is more about flushing out unwanted impressions from inside, than stuffing in the artificial peace from outside. The peaceful mind is an immature idea of the troubled seeker, who looks to spirituality as an alternative to the pain and disturbances in his troubled life.
Disciple : So if the disturbances during Meditation
are withstood, I can go beyond them ?
Master : Yes. In fact you need not go beyond, but they
will drop off on their own as they get flushed out !
Disciples : But I'm always puzzled what exactly these
disturbances are and why they function like disturbances ?
Master : The disturbances are usually the conflict of ideas !
Disciple : I seem to understand that
a bit already, but please explain ?
Master : When you get spiritual in life,
most ideas you carried till then
suddenly would appear paradoxical.
The conflict between what you always believed
and what really happens causes those disturbances !
All your life you believed that you have to be doing something in order to find happiness. This idea of doing something is shattered in the process of meditation by sitting and doing nothing. That's where the conflicts begin.
Disciple : I got it now ! You say meditation is not
like anything we knew before in this world ?
Master : True. In fact we have known all the opposite
things as real, till the day you started learning
the subtleties of meditation !
Disciple : Are there more conflicting ideas ?
Master : Plenty more. In the world you believe that
you are doing fine only by the number of people you
could hang out with or by the numbers that hang around you !
Disciple : Yes, but how does it conflict my meditation?
Master : In Meditation, you have to sit alone, all by yourself.
So it can create a fear of losing social security and
loss of friends and support of people etc.
Disciple : Oh yes. I tend to remember
people I had forgotten for long time,
during my meditation. Why is that ?
Master : Their appearance is no problem
but your guilty feeling of not keeping in touch
can kill you or the fear of losing those contacts
may eat you alive in meditation !
Disciple : Now I understand, why I
sent a mail to a long lost friend
soon after my yesterday's meditation !
Every moment going deeper in to Meditation can cause you fears and terrible insecurity. Only because of your idea that security always comes from people around you. More number of people around you, greater is the security. This either will stop you from going further in to Meditation or create uncalled for fears of losing your people and the world outside.
Conscious Connexion M O K S H A - J U N K Y A R D